Sunday School Kids

Author Unknown


A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She
described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the
drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside,
all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."


The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah, the
Prophet, and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built The
altar, put wood on it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it on the altar.
And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels with water
and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now," said the
teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah
pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know, I
know," she said, "to make the gravy!"


The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My mommy
looked back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and
she turned into a telephone pole!"


A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"


A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But there is a higher power.
Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"


Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got
to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the
people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters for reinforcement bombers to blow up the bridge, and all the
Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!"


A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the
most quoted passages in the Bible, Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month
to learn the verse. Little Bobby was excited about the task. But, he just
couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past
the first line. On the day the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in
front of the congregation, Bobby was very nervous. When it was his turn, he
stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my shepherd and
that's all I need to know.