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You Might Be In A Redneck Church If...

Author Unknown

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members know how to play it.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... People ask, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," then five guys and two women stand up.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... Baptism is referred to as "branding".

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

You Might Be In A Redneck Church If... People think the "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.